Strong Women, Frilly Dresses
I am told that my heroines are strong yet feminine, and I have frequently been asked how and why I achieve this.
My strong heroines stemmed from my frustration as a reader when I was young. There seemed to be not much to choose from in novels: heroines were either ladylike governesses waiting for Mr. Rochester to come along and marry them, or wild women out of control needing a Petruchio to tame them, or the witchy heroines of steamy potboilers hopping into bed with every man from chauffeurs to CEO's. None of them were real and therefore their stories were not satisfying. A reader needs to relate to the central character in order for a story to be successful. A reader needs to like the central character in order to care what happens to her. I thought: why can't a heroine be strong and nice at the same time? Assertive yet ladylike. Confident yet with manners. A woman in whom we would like to think we see ourselves. After all, that's why we read fiction - to experience an adventure we would never experience in real life. And the more we see ourselves in the protagonist, the more we enjoy the adventure.
It's a delicate balance, though. I have read novels where the heroine is so strong that she is obnoxious and off-putting. Using foul language or punching someone in the face is not the definition of a strong woman. What we want to strive for is strength plus femininity. I found many role models in history, in particular the 19th century (although, unfortunately, many of those progressive women had to give up marriage and family in order to pursue a profession). Women are not the weaker sex. We're simply less aggressive and more polite. Strong, realistic women need not be shrewish or without morals. And let's face it, a more realistic and likeable heroine reflects positively on the hero. I have little affection for a man who falls under the spell of a woman I do not like, or don't think is worthy of him. So when he falls in love with a woman to whom I can relate, a woman in whom I like to think I see something of myself, then I find him all the more attractive and sexy because, after all, hasn't he really fallen in love with me?
