Confessions Of A Golfer
Golf can be a rewarding game, it can also be a tough and frustrating game - what Mark Twain called "a nice walk ruined." In the three months that I have been taking lessons, I have learned two keys to being a successful golfer. But let me begin by saying that being a successful golfer has nothing to do with skill or strength or talent. Forget about your score, your handicap, or how well you can hit the ball. And certainly don't worry about your grip, your swing, your stance. All you need to be really good at the game (or at least to make people think you are good at it), are these two secrets:
Secret Number One, learn the lingo. Golf has a language all its own and you practically need an English-Golf dictionary to get around the course. Since it takes time to master this complex tongue, let me give you a few phrases that will make you sound like a pro in an instant. (Practice saying these and you will be a big hit at any party where there are golfers.)
"I was on the green in three for a one-putt bogey."
"The next one was a par five with a hard dog-leg to the left, and the wind dead in my face."
"I finally drove the ninth green at Canyon Crest."
"Are there any beers left?"
Secret Number Two: wear cute outfits.
See you at the Masters!
